5 years

Josh and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary last week. What a crazy 5 years! I want to recap:

~ 2 babies
~ 1 basement apartment
~ 1 house
~ LOTS of cars (I think 8)
~ 1 motorcycle
~ 6 jobs (might be more)
~ became a stay at home mom
~ 1 case of kidney cancer
~ 1 terrible car accident
~ lots of pounds put on (but coming off!!!)
~ 2 half marathons
~ soooooo many amazing memories - too many to count

I can't believe it has been 5 years but at the same time it feels like we have been together for so much more than 5 years. I love this man so much. He keeps me grounded and stable. He is so funny and so sweet. He is a great listener, gives me the best advice, but at the same time he knows when to just listen and to say nothing. He is the best father to our babies, they love him so much. We have so much in common and at the same time we are total opposites. I love him. I. LOVE. HIM. I am excited for our future. We are going to have an amazing future. Happy 5 years my love!

RIP Honda Element

I keep letting too much time pass in between my blog posts. I was actually on updating Sister Rebecca Knell's blog and I thought I should update mine.

Last week, on Tuesday June 4th, I was in a very serious car accident with my two babies. We were going to a friends house for dinner and I was getting on the freeway at about 5:00 pm when a car cut me off. The car hit it's brakes and then swerved in to my lane, right after I had just moved lanes, and I jerked my wheel to the left to try to avoid them and I lost control of the car and spun out over 5 lanes of traffic. I was hit twice, once in the front and once in the back. Some how we were ok and we were not injured. It was scary. My neck was hurting and the babies were screaming. However, there were amazing people that came to help us. There was a nurse, an EMT, a retired EMT, and an off duty police officer. Josh was at school so the nurse sent him a text from my phone - which scared the crap out of him.

Our car was totaled. I am impressed with how well it actually held up though. I have never felt the fear that I felt last week. I thought for a split second I was going to die and my babies were going to die. I thought about Josh and how he was going to lose his family. But when the car stopped and we were alive and the kids seemed to be ok I just cried. I don't know if I cried because of how scary it was, the fact that I totaled the car, or because we were still alive - but I cried a lot.

The next day Landon started throwing up and wouldn't stop. We called his doctor and they told us because of the accident it could be a late brain bleed so we needed to take him to the ER. We did and the ER doctor was so great. He wanted to give Landon a CT scan but then he stopped and said "I just asked myself if this was my kid what would I want. I would want the vomiting under control and then watch him." So that is what we did. He told us later he didn't want to expose Landon's brain to radiation. Then he told Josh "thank you for trusting me."

It was terrible to see my little Landon limp in Josh's arms and not know what was wrong. That was one of the hardest moments for me as a mom. It was such a devastating week. But it is over now. Josh was able to take the two days after off from work and we spent it together as a family. It was so nice to just love each other and be a family. I know, without a doubt, that we were being watched over by angels. I really do know that it wasn't my time or Landon's or Lily's time to go. I love my family so much. I love my husband and my babies. I'm so grateful for that car. I really think that car saved our lives. I am still having a hard time sleeping but I am getting over what happened. Here is a little glimpse of the wreckage.

You are doing a good job

I had a lot of friends tell me "going from 1 to 2 kids is easier than going from 0 to 1." I think that they were all just being nice to me so that I would have another kid. I am struggling a little. It has been 6 weeks since Lily was born. I am doing better than I was when I first had her but 2 kids is still tough. Landon has started to show his love towards his sister, which is wonderful. However, I feel like I spend a lot of my day making sure he doesn't smother her, poke her in the eye, stick toy cars in her mouth, or jump on her. He LOVES to "help" her swing by pushing it really hard. It is so sweet though to see him with her. He has also learned that when I am feeding the baby I am immobile so it is the perfect time to get in to mischief. I have found him sitting on the counter in the kitchen eating candy, going through the trash can looking for treasure, taking DVDs out of the case. I always think about friends with 4 or 5 kids and wonder "what the heck were you thinking?!?!" I know that as he gets older he will be able to play with his siblings and it won't be this crazy but right now it feels pretty insane.

A couple of days ago I was at Walmart and Lily started crying which made Landon start to whine a little so I was trying to be quick at the self check out to get us out of the store. This cute little grandma came up to me and said "You are doing a good job mom. I know they don't seem cute when they are crying because they are yours but enjoy this time because it goes by so fast." It was nice to have some one tell me "you are doing a good job." I think that the hardest part of quitting my job has been that I no longer have any validation that I am "doing a good job." Josh can say it to me all day but he has to :) To have another person say it has a bigger impact on me. Because this is a job. Being a stay at home mom is a job.

My goodness I love these kids. Of course there are days where I want to scream but most days they are amazing. Time has gone by so fast already! I can't believe Landon is two. Check out my beautiful babes.

A year has passed! (almost)

Wow I can't believe almost an entire year has gone by. Well let me recap the past year. Got pregnant, turned 30, ran another half marathon (while pregnant), Josh started his master program at the U, went to California to visit the Cooks, Landon turned 2, celebrated the holidays, had a baby... yup that pretty much sums it up!

Lily Helen Knell was born on January 9, 2013. She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 19 inches long. She was (and is) perfect. I had a pretty crazy pregnancy though. I ended up having food poisoning, pneumonia, strep, and the flu. Plus I had terrible morning sickness just about every day. It was pretty crazy but I guess it could have been much worse. Then after she was born I ended up with a uterine infection, an inflamed bladder, and the cartilage around my right rib cage was inflamed which made it hurt to breathe with every single breath. Needless to say I am happy that she is here.

Here we are (don't mind my puffy face)

Landon has had a hard time with the new baby but he is adjusting. I just can't leave the two of them alone together...... It is a lot more work having two then one but it is fun. Landon is in the crazy age of exploring and touching everything and throwing tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. I pretty much pray for patience every single day. But he is so sweet and turning in to such a handsome boy. He has such a funny personality. He is OBSESSED with airplanes. He always has one in his hand and he can spot them in the sky from any distance. 

We are doing great! Josh hasn't had a relapse with his cancer, he will be tested again in about a month. We are hoping for a calm 2013 -no cancer, no quitting jobs, no getting pregnant (I would die if that happened).

Hopefully I will blog more this year too : )

Boys will be boys

This past Sunday we were at church. Going to church has become one of the hardest tasks because our 17 month old can not sit still and wants to run up and down the aisles. Josh took him out, then I took him out, and then Josh took him out again. I was enjoying a great talk and the lights were dim where we were sitting all the way in the back. Josh came in and said we have to go and then I saw Landon with blood dripping down his forehead. I practically yelled "what happened!!!" We rushed out of the church building and Josh told me that Landon was outside and took a head dive in to the brick that is outside the church building. Josh was upset because he thought it was his fault but Landon has a huge head so I blame gravity. Well this is what it looked like when we got home.

It looked deep from the very beginning but we thought it wasn't THAT deep so we did the "smart" thing and dabbed it with hydrogen peroxide and then put neosporin on it and a big bandage. Well when the blood started to pool in the badge we knew that we needed to bring him in to the urgent care. So off we went with him looking like this (at least he was happy at this point)

When we got to the urgent care there was a long line but they say the blood and let us go back quickly. We were schooled by a very nice nurse about how we should never use hydrogen peroxide (whoops!). And then she wrapped his head and put numbing cream on his cut because she said he would probably need stitches. So then he looked like this

Oh my poor baby. Well the doctor said that he would glue his cut instead of stitches which was great but they needed to clean out the cut first. So they wrapped him in a blanket so he couldn't use his arms and the nurse held his head and Josh had to hold him down, and basically I help his legs and cried. Landon has never even thrown up before so this was very traumatic for me. But the doctor was awesome and was calm the whole time. Now Landon will have a little scar on his forehead. But now he just looks like this.

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And yes I made him cookies to heal his little heart. Well and to make him love me some more again. Needless to say it was a very sad day but this is just the beginning of raising a boy right?

Belly buttons are pretty fascinating

If you have seen Landon lately he was probably lifting up his shirt to give you a little peep show. He has discovered that he has a belly button so he has been showing everybody. It's pretty funny because he has such a pot belly, so when he looks down he can't always see his belly button so he has to lift his gut to find it. Feast your eyes on this little tank.

He has been doing some funny things lately. He has learned to pull me to the things he wants and then grunts and points at what he wants. He loves dogs. He thinks its great when they lick his face. But he seriously hates baths right now. I don't know what happened but he SCREAMS when we put him in. He is getting better though. But he loves books which I absolutely love. It has been a lot of fun. I have been a stay at home mom now for 3 weeks. I am getting better at it! I just need to find more things to write about in my blog than Landon : )

Stay at home momma!

My life consists of making forts, reading a dozen books a day, finding Landon's belly button, going to the park every day, lots of tickling and laughing, lots of crying and grumpy faces, hearing new words and phrases, getting my first kisses from Landon, A LOT of laundry and dishes. I am a stay at home mom now! It is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever had the opportunity to do. He is so much fun and so crazy all at the same time!

But let me be honest, I feel like I have NO idea what I am doing. He probably watches way too many cartoons a day and I don't have enough activities planned for him each day but I know he loves it. I can tell that he is happier being home than he has ever been. He sleeps so great and he is eating so well.

We did get to go to the zoo last week and Landon absolutely loved it. He was pointing at everything and he thought the exotic birds and monkeys were awesome. But out of everything at the zoo he loved the carousel the best! 

Josh is doing amazing too! We have taken on a whole foods diet, it is pretty amazing. We basically aren't eating any meat or any animal products and nothing processed, fried, added sugar, or refined flour. Yeah, the hardest thing ever but we feel really good. I totally break down every now and then and eat something bad but for the most part it is fruit, veggies, legumes, and whole grains for us! Josh has lost a TON of weight and mine is slowly coming off. But we feel awesome which is great and in turn Landon is eating more fruits and veggies.

Life is great! We are happy and healthier then we have ever been!