Love My Landon

I feel like Landon has grown in to a boy over night. He used to be so crazy and run away from me the second I put him down. Now he listens and he talks to me. I love our conversations. He has become so smart and he asks me about everything. I try to listen to everything he tells me and I answer all of his questions. I don't find it annoying at all, in fact I find it fascinating how fast his little brain works. Kids learn so quickly and they pick up on EVERYTHING! 

Landon has become completely obsessed with space shuttles and rockets. He knows the difference between a space shuttle and rocket - watch out if you call it by the wrong thing. He could seriously watch rocket launches for hours if I would let him. He always steals my phone and when I find him he is looking at images of space shuttles. He can even count down from 10. It is crazy how much he loves them and how much he knows about them. He will tell you all about astronauts and he builds Lego rockets all by himself. And they look amazing! 

The things that come out of his mouth kill me. The other day he said to me "I love my bum. I love it!" I laughed for a long time. He thinks that he is the funniest person ever. When we show him videos of himself or turn the camera so he can see himself he laughs forever. He is awesome. 

My gosh I love this kid. When I think about how fast he is growing up it makes me a little sad. But then I think about how awesome he is right now and I love it. Everyone told me that 2-3 were the worst years but my hardest (so far) has been 18 months - 2 1/2. I felt like he would never listen to me and that he just didn't care what I had to say at all. Now that I can reason with him and talk to him it has been a lot better. I can calm his tantrums down and I know what to say and do to not get him so upset. He really loves me and we have a very special bond.

He loves his sister too. It has been so funny to watch the two of them now that she is crawling around everywhere! Every time Lily falls asleep in the car he looks at her and screams "SURPRISE!!" We always have to tell him not to wake her but I laugh every time because it is so funny. He will sometimes act like he doesn't want her around and then when she goes down for a nap or to sleep at night he will instantly ask "where's baby?" He even has started sharing with her.....a little. He likes to take stuff from her for sure, but today he had a cracker and Lily dropped hers on the ground so he went over to her and gave her his and said "here you go baby". It was very sweet. My heart feels like it might burst sometimes when I look at them. I love every moment. 

Being a mom has been harder than I ever thought it would be, but I feel like in the past few months I have learned to really embrace it. There are times where I think I might just scream at the top of my lungs to get my frustrations out but since that would scare the crap out of the kids I don't do that. Sure I can't go to the bathroom without both of them following me, I can't even get a sip of water without them wanting some too, I can't walk in the other room right now without Lily feeling like I may never come back again, and there are days where I don't get a shower until late at night but I love it. I truly love this amazing calling. I feel so blessed to be their mom. And I hear one crying so I will leave with this cute picture of Landon! 

Summer is Already Over

Where did summer go? I can't believe we are just two weeks away from it being Fall! Landon starts preschool in just a few weeks (which is scaring the crap out of me). Let's recap the summer!

• Car crash - that sucked
• Bought a minivan
• Bought a motorcycle
• Josh finished his 3rd semester of school
• Lily is now crawling
• Landon has become scared of pools so we did splash pads (hopefully that fear is gone next summer
• Landon and I had a great date to the rodeo - I think that is going to become a tradition
• We went to the zoo, the dinosaur museum, the gardens at Thanksgiving Point, lots of parks, lots of trips to the canyon, lots of playing with cousins
• Landon is potty trained (for the most part...... I will spare you the details)
• We got a new wood flooring put in to the house
• Brandon and Marissa came to visit
• We celebrated five years of marriage
• Josh turned 29
• Lily got her 6 month pictures done and they are super cute - see! 

I LOVE summer but I love Fall even more so I am super excited! I am excited for Landon to learn and make friends and to be told by other adults besides me and Josh to listen. Halloween is coming which means that all of the awesome holidays and my babies birthdays are coming! My mom is also coming to visit which is going to be a whole lot of fun. We are also going to take a trip to Disneyland! Landon is going to have the time of his life. I can't wait to see his face when we walk through the gates and he sees the castle for the first time. Have I mentioned I absolutely LOVE Fall!!!! I definitely need to blog more! 

5 years

Josh and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary last week. What a crazy 5 years! I want to recap:

~ 2 babies
~ 1 basement apartment
~ 1 house
~ LOTS of cars (I think 8)
~ 1 motorcycle
~ 6 jobs (might be more)
~ became a stay at home mom
~ 1 case of kidney cancer
~ 1 terrible car accident
~ lots of pounds put on (but coming off!!!)
~ 2 half marathons
~ soooooo many amazing memories - too many to count

I can't believe it has been 5 years but at the same time it feels like we have been together for so much more than 5 years. I love this man so much. He keeps me grounded and stable. He is so funny and so sweet. He is a great listener, gives me the best advice, but at the same time he knows when to just listen and to say nothing. He is the best father to our babies, they love him so much. We have so much in common and at the same time we are total opposites. I love him. I. LOVE. HIM. I am excited for our future. We are going to have an amazing future. Happy 5 years my love!

RIP Honda Element

I keep letting too much time pass in between my blog posts. I was actually on updating Sister Rebecca Knell's blog and I thought I should update mine.

Last week, on Tuesday June 4th, I was in a very serious car accident with my two babies. We were going to a friends house for dinner and I was getting on the freeway at about 5:00 pm when a car cut me off. The car hit it's brakes and then swerved in to my lane, right after I had just moved lanes, and I jerked my wheel to the left to try to avoid them and I lost control of the car and spun out over 5 lanes of traffic. I was hit twice, once in the front and once in the back. Some how we were ok and we were not injured. It was scary. My neck was hurting and the babies were screaming. However, there were amazing people that came to help us. There was a nurse, an EMT, a retired EMT, and an off duty police officer. Josh was at school so the nurse sent him a text from my phone - which scared the crap out of him.

Our car was totaled. I am impressed with how well it actually held up though. I have never felt the fear that I felt last week. I thought for a split second I was going to die and my babies were going to die. I thought about Josh and how he was going to lose his family. But when the car stopped and we were alive and the kids seemed to be ok I just cried. I don't know if I cried because of how scary it was, the fact that I totaled the car, or because we were still alive - but I cried a lot.

The next day Landon started throwing up and wouldn't stop. We called his doctor and they told us because of the accident it could be a late brain bleed so we needed to take him to the ER. We did and the ER doctor was so great. He wanted to give Landon a CT scan but then he stopped and said "I just asked myself if this was my kid what would I want. I would want the vomiting under control and then watch him." So that is what we did. He told us later he didn't want to expose Landon's brain to radiation. Then he told Josh "thank you for trusting me."

It was terrible to see my little Landon limp in Josh's arms and not know what was wrong. That was one of the hardest moments for me as a mom. It was such a devastating week. But it is over now. Josh was able to take the two days after off from work and we spent it together as a family. It was so nice to just love each other and be a family. I know, without a doubt, that we were being watched over by angels. I really do know that it wasn't my time or Landon's or Lily's time to go. I love my family so much. I love my husband and my babies. I'm so grateful for that car. I really think that car saved our lives. I am still having a hard time sleeping but I am getting over what happened. Here is a little glimpse of the wreckage.

You are doing a good job

I had a lot of friends tell me "going from 1 to 2 kids is easier than going from 0 to 1." I think that they were all just being nice to me so that I would have another kid. I am struggling a little. It has been 6 weeks since Lily was born. I am doing better than I was when I first had her but 2 kids is still tough. Landon has started to show his love towards his sister, which is wonderful. However, I feel like I spend a lot of my day making sure he doesn't smother her, poke her in the eye, stick toy cars in her mouth, or jump on her. He LOVES to "help" her swing by pushing it really hard. It is so sweet though to see him with her. He has also learned that when I am feeding the baby I am immobile so it is the perfect time to get in to mischief. I have found him sitting on the counter in the kitchen eating candy, going through the trash can looking for treasure, taking DVDs out of the case. I always think about friends with 4 or 5 kids and wonder "what the heck were you thinking?!?!" I know that as he gets older he will be able to play with his siblings and it won't be this crazy but right now it feels pretty insane.

A couple of days ago I was at Walmart and Lily started crying which made Landon start to whine a little so I was trying to be quick at the self check out to get us out of the store. This cute little grandma came up to me and said "You are doing a good job mom. I know they don't seem cute when they are crying because they are yours but enjoy this time because it goes by so fast." It was nice to have some one tell me "you are doing a good job." I think that the hardest part of quitting my job has been that I no longer have any validation that I am "doing a good job." Josh can say it to me all day but he has to :) To have another person say it has a bigger impact on me. Because this is a job. Being a stay at home mom is a job.

My goodness I love these kids. Of course there are days where I want to scream but most days they are amazing. Time has gone by so fast already! I can't believe Landon is two. Check out my beautiful babes.

A year has passed! (almost)

Wow I can't believe almost an entire year has gone by. Well let me recap the past year. Got pregnant, turned 30, ran another half marathon (while pregnant), Josh started his master program at the U, went to California to visit the Cooks, Landon turned 2, celebrated the holidays, had a baby... yup that pretty much sums it up!

Lily Helen Knell was born on January 9, 2013. She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 19 inches long. She was (and is) perfect. I had a pretty crazy pregnancy though. I ended up having food poisoning, pneumonia, strep, and the flu. Plus I had terrible morning sickness just about every day. It was pretty crazy but I guess it could have been much worse. Then after she was born I ended up with a uterine infection, an inflamed bladder, and the cartilage around my right rib cage was inflamed which made it hurt to breathe with every single breath. Needless to say I am happy that she is here.

Here we are (don't mind my puffy face)

Landon has had a hard time with the new baby but he is adjusting. I just can't leave the two of them alone together...... It is a lot more work having two then one but it is fun. Landon is in the crazy age of exploring and touching everything and throwing tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. I pretty much pray for patience every single day. But he is so sweet and turning in to such a handsome boy. He has such a funny personality. He is OBSESSED with airplanes. He always has one in his hand and he can spot them in the sky from any distance. 

We are doing great! Josh hasn't had a relapse with his cancer, he will be tested again in about a month. We are hoping for a calm 2013 -no cancer, no quitting jobs, no getting pregnant (I would die if that happened).

Hopefully I will blog more this year too : )